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Mary Hartley

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The Smart Girl's Guide to Getting What You Want: How to be assertive with wit, style and grace Paperback – April 22, 2014

by Mary Hartley (Author)

4.3 57 ratings

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Do you feel like you’re not heard but you don’t want to have to scream?

Personal development coach Mary Hartley explains the secrets of assertiveness – of how to communicate with other people in ways that are confident, effective – but also considerate. Mary reveals the simple steps you can take to help you relate to other people honestly and openly in every area of your life – at work, with your friends and family and in your love life. You will discover that you can be true to yourself and your needs without hurting or diminishing other people.

   • What assertiveness is and why it matters

   • How to avoid aggression, passivity and manipulation

   • Tips for handling tricky situations including put-downs and dealing with bullies

   • Mastering assertive body language and communication

Packed with practical strategies and exercises, this book will show you how to be confident, assured and proactive – with style.

Print length

208 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Watkins Publishing
Publication date

April 22, 2014
Dimensions

4.95 x 0.7 x 7.75 inches
ISBN-10

9781780285542
ISBN-13

978-1780285542
See all details

Imogen Lloyd Webber
177
Paperback
71 offers from $5.34

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Mary Hartley is a writer and personal development coach who leads workshops and training courses in a wide range of personal development fields. She is the author of several books including: The Good Stress Guide, Managing Anger at Work, The Busy Woman's Handbook, Stress at Work and How to Listen So That People Talk. Some titles are on University, Relate, National Health and other practitioners' reading lists, as well as many relevant forums.

Mary contributes regularly on various aspects of communication and personal development in publications such as The Guardian, Daily Mail, The Sun and Psychologies, and has participated in discussions on Radio One, Capital Radio, BBC Radio Scotland, BBC Radio Jersey and Radio Shropshire. She was also the consultant for a BBC Learning Zone program on managing anger.

Product details

ASIN ‏ : ‎ 178028554X
Publisher ‏ : ‎ Watkins Publishing (April 22, 2014)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 208 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 9781780285542
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1780285542
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 8 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 4.95 x 0.7 x 7.75 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #506,429 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #137 in Career Development Counseling
- #186 in Vocational Guidance (Books)
- #713 in Women & Business (Books)

Customer Reviews:
4.3 57 ratings

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Mary Hartley

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I am a writer, presenter and personal development coach specialising in people skills and communication. I am a CIPD-qualified trainer with a wide range of experience and expertise in leading workshops and training courses covering all aspects of personal development.

I have published a range of books on subjects such as stress management, assertiveness, managing anger and listening skills. I have been quoted in publications such as the Daily Mail, The Times, MailOnline, The Sun and teenage magazines and have been interviewed on a range of national and local radio stations, including the BBC and Capital Radio and have acted as consultant to the BBC Learning Zone. My books are included in reading lists of colleges, universities and NHS websites.

My books offer practical realistic advice and include self-assessment materials, exercises and practical tips to increase your confidence and self-esteem. They focus on ways of developing a positive style of behaviour based on self-respect and respecting others.

I have persuaded angry printers and engineers to embrace change, have encouraged teachers, administrators, technicians to become more asertive and have helped staff who were heading or burnout to manage their levels of stress. My books have been recommended in a wide range of publications from the CIPD professional journal to Take A Break to Cosmopolitan.

The Assertiveness Handbook

A Guide to Anger Management

How to Listen So That People Talk

The Busy Woman's Handbook

The Good Stress Guide

Stress at Work

Body Language at Work

Managing Anger at Work

Text Books and Study Guides

I have written and co-written numerous study guides and text books for English Literature

at A level, AS level, GCSE and Key Stage 3

Customer reviews

4.3 out of 5

57 global ratings

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Martha

Good stuff!

Reviewed in the United States on October 14, 2021

A very helpful, comprehensive guide to basic human communication- the “Adulting” guide I’ve been looking for! Ms. Hartley covers such a broad range of interaction scenarios. Too often, I find books promising to teach a skill, but are just full of vague, trite, encouraging phrases. Yes, the philosophy is important, but Ms. Hartley actually gives the ‘how to’ the others often lack. Her specific examples, and even sample phrases are excellent tools I can actually use.
I also appreciate her empathetic, big-picture angle. It is not necessary, or productive to step on others in order to stand up for yourself !

2 people found this helpful

Helpful

Kaitlyn West

This book is alright. It really is not much ...

Reviewed in the United States on March 5, 2015

Verified Purchase

This book is alright. It really is not much that you haven't already heard. Maybe I was looking for less of an overview and more of a training manual, but I was not that impressed by this book.

6 people found this helpful

Helpful

Shandy Jo

Just what I needed.

Reviewed in the United States on April 20, 2014

Ever find a book you needed, right at the exact moment you needed it. Well this was me, and The Smart Girl's Guide to Getting What You Want. I have the personality described as a push-over in the book. Asserting myself hasn't always been an issue, yet let's just say situations change as do people. This book has given me a... ok I'm gonna be frank, it's given me a swift kick in the backside.
Ms Hartley no-nonsense approach to how to assert yourself, without being a witch is great. She breaks everything down, and give real life examples on how to approach others in not only a work setting but your personal life too. She also give information not only to change your outlook and approach but how to deal with conflicting personalities. The book also covers verbal and body language, how to use all your assets to make yourself a better person.
I actually had a job interview on the same day I finished this book, and I applied several of the lessons learned in this book during the interview. While I still don't know if I got the job, I do know that the interviewer recommended me for it. If this was due to the book or not I'm not sure but I'm pretty sure it didn't hurt. I plan to incorporate more of what I learned into my daily life, and while it's not going to happen overnight I do feel that this book did help me work toward becoming a more assertive, and confident women.

ETA: I got the job!!

How I got it:NetGalley

10 people found this helpful

Helpful

Lindsay B.

A must-read for any woman

Reviewed in the United States on April 24, 2014

This book was supplied by the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

In some ways, I think this book has changed my life. I wish I would have had it a year ago when I underwent what I hope is the most harrowing time of my life. Mary Hartley's writing is succinct, helpful and engaging. She covers all angles of assertive behaviour without encouraging readers to act aggressively. Having read this book, I am empowered to act in the mature, respectful and communicative manner she teaches.

A more detailed review of how this book has affected my life can be found at: [...]

6 people found this helpful

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Top reviews from other countries

Aletheuon

Wise and helpful

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on November 18, 2014

Verified Purchase

I really enjoyed this book, which is full of wisdom and common-sense strategies for living life successfully. Actually, I found the title a bit misleading. It sounds like a guide to how to manipulate people and circumstances to that you get what you want but maybe are not really entitled to have. In fact, it is about learning strategies to be assertive yet have strong relationships with others.
The first chapter defines a 'smart girl' as someone who has learnt that it is vital to establish sound and fulfilling relationships, to embrace opportunities, to accept responsibility and to be comfortable in her own skin. Chapter two describes four relationship 'styles' - the Bulldozer, the Pushover, the Snake and the Star. We can all recognise people we know in each of these styles, especially ourselves. I was reassured when I recognised in one description someone who did me a lot of harm years ago and claimed that it was all my fault, when I found her described as a 'Snake.' The Star is the person who deals wisely with life, and the rest of the book has strategies for becoming that person and dealing with conflict in various areas of life such as work and family. I would have found this book very helpful when I was younger and really struggling with these issues and I would certainly recommend it to someone else.
The author has her own website which looks pretty interesting.

2 people found this helpful

Kay S

Four Stars

Reviewed in Australia on December 14, 2014

Verified Purchase

It's a great read easy to follow great tips

Redgeekgoddess

great book

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 22, 2021

Verified Purchase

thoroughly enjoyed reading this.

Brenda Fitzgerald

Does what it says on the tin!

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 6, 2014

Verified Purchase

A timely, immensely readable and relevant book, this should be on the shelves in all schools and work places! The tone is never preachy, never high handed or patronising. The hints and advice are often simple things that can be put into practice immediately, and they actually work! I squirmed as I recognised my own behaviour patterns, but the common sense, humour and sympathetic, engaging tone made me feel very reassured. I have recommended it to friends of all ages. It is a book I will keep to hand, as it can be dipped into and relished in a range of situations and circumstances. The title, for once, was exactly right; all smart girls of all ages will find something here. Move over Sheryl Sandberg!