Read an Excerpt
Stomp Stomp Stomp Stomp Stomp Stomp Stomp.
Horrid Henry was practicing his elephant dance.
Tap Tap Tap Tap Tap Tap Tap Tap.
Perfect Peter was practicing his raindrop dance.
Peter was practicing being a raindrop for his dance class show. Henry was also supposed to be practicing being a raindrop.
But Henry did not want to be a raindrop. He did not want to be a tomato, a string bean, or a banana either.
Stomp Stomp Stomp went Henry's heavy boots.
Tap Tap Tap went Peter's tap shoes.
"You're doing it wrong, Henry," said Peter.
"No I'm not," said Henry.
"You are too," said Peter. "We're supposed to be raindrops."
Stomp Stomp Stomp went Henry's boots. He was an elephant smashing his way through the jungle, trampling on everyone who stood in his way.
"I can't concentrate with you stomping," said Peter. "And I have to practice my solo."
"Who cares?" screamed Horrid Henry. "I hate dancing, I hate dance class, and most of all, I hate you!"
This was not entirely true. Horrid Henry loved dancing. Henry danced in his bedroom. Henry danced up and down the stairs. Henry danced on the new sofa and on the kitchen table.
What Henry hated was having to dance with other children.
"Couldn't I go to karate instead?" asked Henry every Saturday.
"No," said Mom. "Too violent."
"Judo?" said Henry.
"N-O spells no," said Dad.
So every Saturday morning at 9:45 a.m., Henry and Peter's father drove them to Miss Impatience Tutu's Dance Studio.
Miss Impatience Tutu was skinny and bony. She had long stringy gray hair. Her nose was sharp. Her elbows were pointy. Her knees were knobbly. No one had ever seen her smile.
Perhaps this was because Impatience Tutuhated teaching.
Impatience Tutu hated noise.
Impatience Tutu hated children.
But most of all Impatience Tutu hated Horrid Henry.
This was not surprising. When Miss Tutu shouted, "Class, lift your left legs," eleven left legs lifted. One right leg sagged to the floor.
When Miss Tutu screamed, "Heel, toe, heel, toe," eleven dainty feet
tapped away. One clumpy foot stomped toe, heel, toe, heel.
When Miss Tutu bellowed, "Class, skip to your right," eleven bodies turned to the right. One body galumphed to the left.
Naturally, no one wanted to dance with Henry. Or indeed, anywhere near Henry. Today's class, unfortunately, was no different.
"Miss Tutu, Henry is treading on my toes," said Jumpy Jeffrey.
"Miss Tutu, Henry is kicking my legs," said Lazy Linda.
"Miss Tutu, Henry is bumping me," said Vain Violet.
"HENRY!" screeched Miss Tutu.
"Yeah," said Henry.
"I am a patient woman, and you are trying my patience to the limit," hissed Miss Tutu. "Any more bad behavior and you will be very sorry."
"What will happen?" asked Horrid Henry eagerly.
Miss Tutu stood very tall. She took a long, bony finger and dragged it slowly across her throat.